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.. If you haven't joined us on Facebook, do it now! For long time fans, I've closed the group down and replaced it with a fan page to increase interaction. By joining, you can take part in b-movie related discussions, learn about upcoming events, and generally raise your social status. You'd be an idiot not to join!

Just a friendly reminder. :)

Roger Corman

“ I can make a film about the Fall of the Roman Empire with two extras and a sagebush” – Roger Corman

Today we give praise to an icon in the world of b-movie filmmaking: Roger Corman.

As one of the most prolific filmmakers ever, Corman has more than 350 films produced under his belt. He is behind some of the most memorable b-movies every created, including “It Conquered The World”, “The Wasp Woman”, “X: The Man With X-Ray Eyes”, “Caged Heat”, and “Carnosaur”. He is notorious for producing quality ‘b’ products in a short time span, often in a mere few days. He never spends more than a couple million on one title, will often reuse sets and crew to keep costs now, and always assures a return on each film. His films are so popular, that some have even crossed over into television, theatre, and even music. He is responsible for adapting the most memorable versions of the work of Edgar Allan Poe, starting the great Vincent Price. He is the man behind the now infamous, never released-version of The Fantastic Four. He is responsible for kick-starting the careers of some of the most successful filmmakers and actors ever, including James Cameron, Francis Ford Coppola, Jack Nicholson, Martin Scorsese, Ron Howard, and Sylvester Stallone. Roger Corman is one of the greatest filmmakers ever and a legend to filmmakers around the word.

And yet, that is not the reason why Bottom of the Barrel is celebrating Roger Corman. Of course all the aforementioned accomplishments are more than enough to honour this great man and should not be ignored, but that not why we’re here today. No, the reason we’re honouring Roger Corman today is because he did all of the above… AND will be getting an Oscar!

In a recent announcement, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences have declared that Roger Corman will be receiving an honourary Academy Award for all of his contributions to the world of cinema. That’s right; the man behind “Death Race 2000” is getting an Oscar! How cool is that?

It’s a bit unexpected that the Academy would honour b-grade talent like this, but they clearly recognize an influential genius when they see it. Corman is behind some of the greatest films and greatest talent to ever work in the business, both directly and indirectly. And though his films have not won any awards, he refuses to change his ways and sell out. He remains true to himself, he gives what the people want, and after 45 years in this business he doesn’t show signs of slowing down. He is a filmmaker’s filmmaker. He is a true auteur. There is no question that Roger Corman deserves this honour.

So, raise a glass, pop in a copy of “A Bucket of Blood”, and give praise to one of the greatest things that have ever happened to the world of b-movies! Hell, if Oscar will honour him, why not you?

Here’s to Roger Corman, a true cinematic legend and a hero to all b-movie lovers! Keep ‘em coming sir!

You can buy an excellent box set of Roger Corman films here: http://astore.amazon.ca/bottomofthebarrel-20/detail/B000SK5ZFC

Evil Toons

Cartoon violence can be a controversial thing. Cartoon rape and demonic possession, however, can be surprisingly entertaining!

After the success of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the idea of combining live action with animation opened a world of possibilities for dazzling stories. Yet, here we are talking about Evil Toons. It’s your typical story of sexy co-eds stuck in an old house being terrorized by a psychotic demon and David Carradine; you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Except this time the evil little bastard is a cartoon that came to life from a drawing in everyone’s favourite satanic reading, the Necronomicon. That damn book has caused so many problems for so many innocent people, you’d think they would do a better job destroying it. Anyways, as you can imagine, the cartoon comes to life and all hell breaks loose.

Now for the most part this film is pretty entertaining; the girls are dumb as fuck and twice as naked, and the film does move along at a nice pace. However there are two problems with the film, and they both relate to the same thing: its title. Here’s the thing; it’s called Evil Toons. A title like that should indicate there are many evil toons that run amuck in this film, right? Apparently not; instead we get one. One stinking evil toon! That’s strike one! At least we should be able to see that toon wreak havoc, right? Again, not so much. The other major problem with the film is the toon only gets about five minutes of screen time! Are you kidding me? You promise me evil toons and all I get is one barely seen toon? That’s just balls!! So how does one lonely toon find time to terrorize a group of sexy co-eds with no screen time? Possession. That’s right, the toon possesses one of the girls, who then basically is your monster for most of the film. You see, this is what happens when you start shooting your brilliant idea without working out a budget first. Call this strike two! Fortunately for the film it never makes a third strike.

Evil Toons has all the right elements in place, but unfortunately it does not deliver. It really could have been a b-movie classic if more effort was put into it. Yet, it doesn’t completely disappoint; you get an abundance of boobs, David Carradine, a few good chuckles, and some remnants of a psychotic cartoon, so at least there’s enough there to please us feeble-minded drool monkeys. Still, it would have been great to see more evil toons…

Final Mark: 3/5



EXTRA CRAP
The Good: B-movie legend Dick Miller makes an appearance. The world needs more Dick Miller.

The Bad: It’s called Evil Toons, but it only gives you one pathetic toon. Someone declare shenanigans!

The Ugly: Pornstars do not have comic timing.

In A Nutshell: Could have been so much better, but at least we’ll always have Monique Gabrielle’s great rack.

Useless Trivia: Director Fred Olen Ray is a part-time professional wrestler who owns his independent wresting league. And if this film has anything to say, it’s that he probably wrestles about as good as he directs.

Favourite Quote(s):

• Roxanne: Why do these things always have to start with the young beautiful coeds going into the basement?
• Megan (after watching Roxanne strip): Wow, that was interesting.
• (doorbell rings)
  Jan: We should answer it.
  Terry: Puh-lease, it’s just a doorbell!
  
• Monster: You little bitch! I’ll get you in the sequel for this!!

Psycho Girls

Murder, torture, cannibalism, sweaty sex… All of this can be pretty traumatizing, but when one man survives all of this, what does he do? What else?... He writes his story…

As an aficionado of all things ‘b’, you go out of your way to research and discover titles to add to your collection. But it is always the ones that come out of left field, the ones you’re not looking for, that really surprise you. Take Psycho Girls for example: I’ve never even heard of this film, yet one day after leaving the TV on, this little craptacular gem started playing. And if I didn’t change the channel sooner like I should have, I wouldn’t have wasted two hours with this amazing piece of trash.

Some people have described Psycho Girls as a tongue-in-cheek horror. Those people are fucking idiots! There is nothing tongue-in-cheek about this; it is just awful, awful, awful! This is amateur filmmaking at its finest, and it is very painful to watch. Take every possible horror cliché you can think of, and I mean the bad ones, and throw them into a script that makes no sense, and this is what you end up with. Man, does this film suck!

So what’s it about? A writer right out of a hardboiled crime film writes a story about a particularily horrific event he was a part of, which turns out to be a useless trope for the plot. It starts out with a little girl who poisons her parents and is sent to the nuthouse for her efforts. Grown up and just as crazy, she then escapes, kills her sister, and takes on her identity to torture and murder some unlucky individuals planning a dinner party, including our fateful narrator. This leads to a very weird sequence where one of the guests discusses brain mechanics while munching on an unusually glutinous piece of steak tartare. The dinner party guests are then tied up and tortured by manical killer and her crew, one that oddly looks like Freddie Mercury. The guest are tortured one by one, leading to a climax that includes a duel with pipes, and ends on a twist so laughable you will resort to torturing your dinner guests.

Despite its unabashed levels of bad horror, Psycho Girls does have one thing going for it: the torture scenes are quire gruesome, so gruesome that it’s actually still banned in some regions. It’s essentially torture horror before torture horror became big. You can almost say that this film was ahead of its time. But even that is too much praise for this heaping pile of flaming garbage.

Psycho Girls is bad, painfully bad. Not one of the worst films out there, but it’s up there. Good gore, some good shock value, but it’s very amateurish. You get the feel that they were trying to make a good movie here, and that usually results in something bad but good; not this time. The fact that they sucked at making it makes it that much more tough to watch. If you think passing a large turd through an extreme case of hemorrhoids is fun, you’ll probably dig Psycho Girls.

Final Mark: 1/5



EXTRA CRAP
The Good: Kim Cayer. This chick is hot! She should have been a scream queen.

The Bad: A six-year-old writing a book report on Where’s Waldo would be better then writing than this cliché-ridden script.

The Ugly: That couple having sex sweats more than two pigs in a sauna… how do they grip anything?

In A Nutshell: Torture can work up an appetite; thank goodness for pizza places that also deliver pretzels and burritos and don’t call the cops when their delivery boy doesn’t return.

Useless Trivia: Director Jerry Ciccoritti had led one of the most successful directing careers in Canada shortly after making this film. If that doesn’t say enough about Canadian cinema I don’t know what does.

Favourite Quote(s):

• Narrator: She wasn't insane, she was beyond insane. She left insanity at the door. She was having a neck and neck race with sanity, and she was about to win.
• Narrator: That's my story. You can use it if you want. It would make for a good case study.

Night of the Creeps coming to DVD! We need another petition.

That's right boys and girls, the other Fred Dekker masterpiece Night of the Creeps is finally coming to DVD. After a successful campaign to get The Monster Squad on DVD, fans put forth another campaign to get Night of the Creeps released as well. It always seemed less likely to be released, which is why this recent announcement came as a very pleasant surprise!

The news came from Red Shirt Pictures, the company behind many fantastic DVD releases, including Hellraiser, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Future-Kill and, of course, The Monster Squad. Complete details have not been released yet, but expect the DVD to be released in October 2009 via Sony, and should contain the director's cut with the original ending, as well as commentaries, interview, and a buttload of other great extras!



So we've had two successful campaigns to get some great b-movies onto DVD; well done lads! But don't stop there, let's keep it going! Pick one title you want to see on DVD, shoot back in the comments, and we'll see which title gets the next push for a DVD release!

My vote is for Tammy and the T-Rex!! Make your pick below...

The Toxic Avenger: The Musical

This is pretty wild! Following in the footsteps of Evil Dead, The Toxic Avenger has been transformed into a musical! Currently playing off-Broadway in New York, the musical has contains such catchy melodies as Kick Your Ass, Hot Toxic Love, Bitch/Slut/Liar/Whore, and You Tore My Heart Out. It is written by Joe DiPietro, its music by David Bryan, and both created the lyrics.

The nice thing about this is it has been receiving favourable reviews, and as result plans to tour across the continent, possibly hitting a town near you. No word yet on when the cast recording will be available, but you better believe that now it has become a surprise musical hit we'll be seeing a release soon! Follow this link to learn more about the show, including how to buy tickets.

Now that we've seen Evil Dead and Toxic Avenger turned into a broadway musical, what other b-movies would you like to see become a musical? Here are my picks:

• Tammy and the T-Rex


• Silent Night, Deadly Night (1 and 2)


• Motel Hell


• Troll 2


• Ricki-Oh: Story of Ricky

Feel free to leave your thoughts on the next great b-musical in the comments below.

Undead

An alien invasion right in the middle of a zombie outbreak? That would suck!

It’s nice to see horror comedies making a resurgence nowadays, but there was a long gap where we had nothing. For a while these films only existed in the form of Troma or parody and PG-rated crap. There were some good comedic moments popping up in straight horror flicks, but they are too few and far between. It was a good ten years before we had a horror comedy to get excited about.

Enter Undead, a kick-ass horror comedy from Australia that even crosses into sci-fi territory. No surprise it came from Australia though; the last good horror comedy came from that region in the form of the classic Braindead! Except here they upped the ante Braindead set and have raised the bar with their fresh take on the genre. Of course it starts out like any other zombie flick; the undead invade a small town after a series of meteorites blast through the atmosphere, and the only hope belongs to a gun-nut hermit, a former beauty pageant queen, and a very angry lawman.

But unlike other zombie films, this takes an interesting turn when they discover the whole town is sealed up by a giant wall and are being chased by mysterious figures that may or may not be aliens. It’s zombie horror meets alien invasion! It even has shades of the western genre with its enigmatic, paranoid bad-add Marion. The filmmakers have a lot of influences in various genres and it shows in each scene. They pay homage to their heroes without ripping them off.

Anyone remotely familiar with the zombie genre knows that a good zombie film has buckets of blood; Undead does not disappoint. The splatter is plentiful and rewarding, using over 600 litres of the red stuff throughout and is tops with some of the classics. But even better is character of local foul-mouthed sheriff Harrison, who spews some of the funniest shit you’ll ever hear from anyone in the middle of a zombie outbreak! It’ll keep you pissing yourself from beginning to end!

You’ll have a lot of fun with Undead. With ample amounts of gore and giggles, and a side order of the X-Files just to mix things up, you should be pleasantly surprised with this gem. It’s also nice to see a zombie film that is not like other zombie films, which is the sole reason why the genre is dying the first place... but that’s another rant. If you are looking for a fun splatter-filled zombie film with a twist, Undead will satisfy your cravings.

Final Mark: 3.5/5



EXTRA CRAP
The Good: Undead trumps its predecessor Braindead by using over 600 litres of fake blood throughout production.

The Bad: I would rather encounter a zombie human before I encounter a zombie fish.

The Ugly: That’s right; Sheriff Harrison kisses his mother with that mouth.

In A Nutshell: Mental note: make triple shotgun when zombie outbreak hits.

Useless Trivia: The directors edited and did the special effects on their home PC using, of all things, Premiere. It took them nine months to complete it. That’s either devotion, or that’s stupidity… no, it’s just stupidity.

Favourite Quote(s):

• Harrison: When I was a kid, we fuckin' respected our parents, we didn't fuckin' eat 'them!
• Alien #1: [to other Alien without suit] Put you clothes back on.
  Alien #2: I'm comfortable with who I am.
• Harrison: I'll fuckin' finish you off faster than a fuckin' birthday cake at a fat chick's fuckin' birthday party!

Howard the Duck?! Special Edition DVD?!? SERIOUSLY?!?!?

Hey, I'm all for releasing b-movies on DVD, especially when it's long awaited, but even this caught me off guard. Coming out March 10, 2009, the Howard the Duck DVD is actually a features-loaded Special Edition. Included on the DVD:

. A Look Back at Howard the Duck
. Releasing the Duck
. News Featurette
. The Stunts of Howard the Duck
. The Special Effects of Howard the Duck
. The Music of Howard the Duck
. Teaser Trailers

No word yet on whether George Lucas digitally replaced the duck with Hayden Christensen for this release.

Starcrash

You got to hand it to the Italians: they know how to make good trash.

Every once in a while a film comes along that is so big and so popular it spawns some really bad imitators. Us b-movie aficionados have found appreciation in big blockbusters for this exact reason. One such film was Star Wars which spawned a plethora of ridiculously bad imitators. Enter the Italian film industry, notorious for producing big Hollywood blockbuster knock-offs, who jumped on the Star Wars bandwagon to make their own sci-fi action epic... with a limited budget of course. Put all these ingredients together in a blender and puree on high, and you get Starcrash, a deliciously bad film of gigantic proportions.

What makes Starcrash so amazing is that there is so much that is bad, not just one or two things. We're talking about the acting, the set pieces, the writing, the special effects, the piss-poor dubbing, the redneck robot... everything! Mind you this is all because the incredible speed these filmmakers worked at to get this out and capitalize on the Star Wars craze, not to mention working with a budget so low Roger Corman would be ashamed. Even Caroline Munroe running around in practically nothing can't help this fabulous train wreck. But it doesn't hurt either, and frankly she doesn't need to: Starcrash is amazing the way it is. That's right kids, this is a textbook case of so-bad-its-good disorder.

As I said, there isn't just one or two things that stand out in this flick, but there are a few worth mentioning. Akton is quite possibly the most annoying and ugliest hero-slash-Luke Skywalker wannabe with an abundance of powers, including seeing into the future. L is a robot sheriff programmed with a southern US accent. Count Zartharn, the evil overlord hellbent on ruling the universe, travels through space on a giant claw that can transform into *gasp* a fist! Yes, that really is Christopher Plummer. In case you are wondering, they are called "light swords", not "light sabres". And finally, when all else fails, stop time! This is only a sample of what makes this a classic.

Starcrash is a real treat for b-movie fans. This is a treasure trove of crap cinema and, like a fine wine, only gets better with age. When it comes to ripoffs and films that are bad from start to finish, Starcrash is top-notch. It exists at the same plateau as Plan 9, but has the distinction of starring people that maintained a decent career afterwards, a rare b-movie trait. It is truly an amazing film, with a very appropriate title, and is worth multiple viewings! So good, in fact, that it deserves a loyal fan base like Star Wars or Star Trek. And for that fan base, I propose a name for them, similar to Trekkies or Deadheads. How does "bonehead" sound?

Final Mark: 4.5/5



EXTRA CRAP
The Good: Caroline Munro and her interchangable sexy outfits.

The Bad: Someone watched this and gave David Hasselhoff a career.

The Ugly: Those special effects are something else...

In A Nutshell: Hey, Christopher Plummer, what's that black spot on your resume?

Useless Trivia: This was nominated for an award... a legitimate award too! It was nominated for a Saturn Award for Best Foreign Film. And that is the sound of your head exploding!

Favourite Quote(s):

• The Emperor: You know, my son, I wouldn't be Emperor of the Galaxy if I didn't have a few powers at my disposal. Imperial Battleship, halt the flow of time!
• Stella Star: So you see into the future. All these years you never told me. Think of all the trouble I might have avoided.
  Akton: You would have tried to change the future, which is against the law. So therefore I can tell you nothing.
• L: It's so nice to be turned on again.
• Stella Star: Get ready to ease out of orbit.
  Akton: This doesn't make you nervous, does it?"
  Stella Star: Well, leave it to me.
  Akton: Build up maximum energy!
  Stella Star: OK, I'm ready.
  Akton: All system prepare for full power!
  Stella Star: Let's lock in these controls...
  Akton: Let's go!

Santa's Slay

It always surprises me when a film with so much promise, and even a great start, ends up failing so miserably. Santa's Slay is no exception.

How's this for a premise: Santa Claus is really the son of Satan and is a truly evil bastard. But he lost a bet through a game of curling and had to be nice for a thousand years. Well now the thousand years are up and Santa is ready to go on a killing spree! now tell me that is not a great idea!! How do you make it better? You add a Jewish pro wrestler as Santa, a ridiculous cast of cameos (James Caan, Fran Drescher, Dave Thomas, Rebecca Gayheart, Robert Culp, and many more), everyone's favourite Hollywood hack Brett Ratner as producer, an animated sequence reminiscent of some classic holiday specials, and you've got yourself a winner! Right?...

Unfortunately the film falls short of greatness. What makes this more disappointing is that it started out pretty good with some decent kills, a bit of unnecessary nudity, and enough bad puns to make you vomit egg nog. But at the halfway point it just drops like a roasted chestnut and basically becomes a pile of steaming Christmas shit with an ending that really lets you down. Without giving too much away, they basically built up the story to a climax that never happened. The ending was actually quite anti-climactic, which leaves you disappointed. Yet that's not even the worst the thing about this film.

Their biggest mistake?: at one point the producer or director or one of the other hacks who worked on this thought "hey, let's set this up for a sequel so we can have this guy come back as Santa and kick some more ass, because he's totally gonna be a star in two years!" Bad idea. You see, they broke an unwritten rule of b-moviemaking: don't plan for a sequel. Your film is a b-movie!! You only have one shot to get this right, and chances are you won't be able to make another. Even if they did get to make another, after the way they ended this one I'm definitely not interested to see more.

It is really unfortunate that this film ended the way it did. I really wanted to like it; it had so much potential to become an instant b-movie classic and anti-Christmas must see! But it failed at accomplishing this status, and failed miserably. A good start that goes downhill quickly, Santa's Slay is more like a lump of coal in your stocking. 'Tis the season for great bad Christmas movies. Too bad this isn't one of them.

Final Mark: 2.5/5



EXTRA CRAP
The Good: Yule (ha!) love the Rankin/Bass-like animated sequence.

The Bad: Why did this not discredit Brett Ratner career?

The Ugly: Chris Kattan needed a better death.

In A Nutshell: So much promise... so much disappointment...

Useless Trivia: Santa is played by Jewish pro-wresting star Bill Goldberg, and even performs some of his trademark wresting moves in this flick. Someone thought it was wise to give him a second chance at an acting career after his role in the Universal Solider sequel.

Favourite Quote(s):

• Santa Claus: Looks like Grandpa got run over by a reindeer.
• Santa Claus (while reading a copy of A Christmas Carol): Boy, Christmas can sure scare the Dickens out of people.
• Mary: You hit like a girl.
  Nick: You kiss like a guy.

B.O.B. XMAS BUYER'S GUIDE 2008

Christmas is coming fast, and I bet you haven't found a gift for that special someone yet. Don't fret, because Bottom of the Barrel is here to help. And we're gonna make it easy for you this year, for there is only one thing you should be getting this year:

The new 20th Anniversary DVD set of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 was released only a couple of months ago, and is really the only set that should be on your radar this year. It comes with with the four most requested episodes, an oral history of MST3K, a comic-con reunion, lobby cards, and best of all a Crow T. Robot figurine! This is a limited edition set that may sell out soon so get it while you can.

Looking for something else? Here's your stocking stuffer: the Horrified B-Movie Victims action figurine set. A set of minature figures of people running for their dear lives, you provide whatever horror it is they are running from: Godzilla, a teddy bear, a Transformer, a picture of your mother, whatever your sick heart desires. It's a fun, useless gift idea for the b-movie lover in your family.

Enjoy your nog!

Killer Tomaotes Eat France!

Whoever came up with the idea of making a fourth killer tomato film is an idiot.

You know, it’s one thing to build on a franchise; it’s another thing to milk it for all its worth, then continue to milk it dry. That’s what creator and franchise director John De Bello did by directing this fourth of three films. Granted, this was supposed to be the third film of the trilogy and would have been an acceptable conclusion. However this film was held back in favour of a different sub-par franchise entry, Killer Tomatoes Strike Back. That, along with an animated series, a videogame and a series of comic books proved to be complete killer fruit overexposure. So when this film finally came along, the interest in killer tomatoes was gone. It’s sad.

But even if there were some interest remaining for killer tomato films, this entry into the franchise would have likely destroyed it. It’s a rather piss poor entry in to the series. The film does not have one redeeming quality. Killer Tomatoes Eat France! is a very unfunny film, period. De Bello was leading everything up to this film, hinting at it in previous entries, and probably should have been the swan song. But it’s far from it. Some laughs are recycled from the previous incarnations; some of the other laughs are just bad. It even has an opportunity to make fun of the French at every turn; it does, but very poorly. And there are these mutant tomatoes that come out of nowhere to help reign terror across France, and guess what: they suck! It’s more than just bad. It’s sad.

And that’s unfortunate because it has such promise and hype built up from the previous films. Furthermore it has the same director and writers, returning cast members John Astin and Steve Lundquist, a hot blonde, and even FT making a comeback. It’s a recipe for success! Instead, Astin is dull, Lundquist is terribly unfunny, FT is now irritating rather than cute, the blonde is blonde, and the crew ended up making an annoying children’s flick. Plus they add Skippy from Family Ties in the lead that deserves a serious ass kicking for even showing up here. I don’t understand how the creators can take all the right elements and do all the wrong things. It’s sad.

I would give the film an ‘A’ for effort, but I don’t really think they were trying. Their final entry into this franchise is a disappointing unfunny dud. They took a joke straight out of a b-movie, ran with it an nearly killed it with the first film, revitalized it with the second film, and by this film… well, they already killed the joke by this point, they had no hope in hell to bring it back. The least they could have done was gone out on a high note, but no! If the franchise was truly dead by this point, Killer Tomatoes Eat France! was the cement poured on top of the coffin before it is ultimately buried. And it had so much promise too… It’s really sad.

Final Mark: 2/5



EXTRA CRAP
The Good: At least John ‘Prof. Gangreen’ Astin is here to bring back any dignity lost from the franchise.

The Bad: Such a beautiful woman for the female lead… such a waste…

The Ugly: I want to punch Skippy in the throat!

In A Nutshell: The fourth and final entry in the Killer Tomatoes saga is not funny at all, and may have killed any remaining interest the franchise.

Useless Trivia: This was supposed to be the third and final entry in the series, but instead they made Killer Tomatoes Strike Back! as a third entry to obtain funding for this film. This clearly backfired by using all their good jokes in the third entry.

Favourite Quote(s):

• Michael: What am I worried about? I'm 22 years old; I'm backpacking through France... Life is wonderful. Oh, who am I kidding? Michael J. Fox is a major motion picture star and I'm making a Killer Tomatoes movie, part 4! What am I worried about? I'm making a movie. I'm filming in France. I've got a piece of the merchandising! It beats dinner theater.